Your Role, Your Joy: A perspective shift for Female Athletes

Finding Your Role

When I was a sophomore in college, heading into preseason ( I see you two-a-day practices.), someone asked our team a question that stuck with me: What is your role, and how can you be the very best in your role?

At the time, I thought my role was supposed to be starter. I expected more playing time. I thought things would be different. When that didn’t happen, I felt frustrated and disappointed. I was focusing on things outside my control, and it made my experience stressful and discouraging.

Shifting Perspective

Then I asked myself, How can I be the best in the role I actually have? Even though I wasn’t starting, I was still on a team. I could still control my effort, support my teammates, and choose my attitude. This mindset shift transformed my experience. I started enjoying practice again, I built stronger connections with my teammates, and my mental, emotional, and physical well-being improved significantly.

Beyond Sports: Life Lessons for my Female Athletes

This lesson applies far beyond athletics. What is your role in this season of your life, and how can you be the best version of yourself in that role, for yourself and for the people around you?

For my high-achieving girlies - hear me when I say this - being the best in your role does not mean being perfect. Perfect isn’t real! Being the best in your role means showing up as the healthiest, happiest, most resilient, and most joy-filled version of yourself for the role you are in right now.

Focus on What You Can Control

A key part of thriving as a teenage girl, female athlete, or high-performing woman is focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you cannot. Stress often comes from trying to manage things that were never ours to hold: playing time, our coaches decisions, outcomes we can’t control, and the what-ifs that weigh on our minds.

Peace grows when your grip loosens. Focusing on your effort, attitude, boundaries, reactions, habits, and the way you show up each day supports mental health, reduces performance anxiety, and helps your brain and body feel grounded. You are reminded that you are not powerless, even in overwhelming seasons.

Your Takeaway

If you are in a role you are not happy with, whether as an athlete, student, or young woman, try this: focus on what you can control, let go of what you can’t. Invest your energy where it belongs. And, ask yourself how you can show up as the best, most joy-filled version of yourself in this season. Your mental health matters, and you do not have to do it alone.

Through the quite literal blood, sweat, and tears of being a female athlete, hear me when I say you’re not alone. There’s someone out there who gets it, who wants to celebrate you in your joy, and sit with you in your hard moments too.

If you’re an athlete and you’re struggling, let’s talk. I’ve got you. girl!