What We Resist … Persists. Understanding avoidance and healing for women.

If you’ve ever tried really hard not to think about something like anxiety, a relationship, a mistake, a feeling…you already understand this phrase more than you think.

What we resist, persists means that when we push emotions away, judge them, or try to “fix” them too quickly, they tend to stick around even longer. Not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because emotions don’t respond well to force.

Why resisting emotions increases anxiety and emotional overwhelm

Many of us were taught directly or indirectly to stay strong, not overreact, be grateful, and move on. Just keep it together girl! (ya right).

So when sadness, anxiety, jealousy, grief, or anger shows up, the instinct is to shove it down or distract ourselves until it disappears.

But emotions don’t disappear just because we ignore them. They usually get louder.

Resisting can sound like telling yourself you should not feel this way, that other people have it worse, that you will deal with it later, or wondering why the heck you are still not over it.

While these thoughts are understandable, they often create shame around the feeling which makes it hang on even tighter.

How allowing emotions supports mental health and healing

Allowing an emotion doesn’t mean you like it, agree with it, or want it to stay forever.

It simply means saying:

Something is here, and I can make room for it.

When we allow emotions the nervous system settles, the body feels safer, and the emotion can actually move through.

Feelings are meant to be felt, not fixed.

A mindset shift for teen girls and women, especially athletes and high-performers

Instead of asking:

“How do I get rid of this?”

Try asking:

“What is this trying to tell me?”

Anxiety might be asking for safety. Sadness might be asking for rest. Anger might be asking for boundaries.

When we listen instead of fight, emotions often soften on their own.

Real life examples of emotional regulation and self compassion

This can look like letting yourself cry without apologizing for it, naming the feeling instead of judging it, taking a pause instead of powering through, and offering yourself the same compassion you would give a friend. This is not weakness. This is emotional maturity.

Support for anxiety, depression, perfectionism and self-esteem struggles - we all have them.

Be gentle with yourself. You learned these patterns for a reason.

Healing isn’t about never feeling hard things, it’s about learning how to stay with yourself when they show up.

Because when we stop resisting, things don’t get stuck. They move. They breathe. They pass.

And you don’t have to carry them alone. A great way to navigate these emotions is to talk about them with someone you feel safe with!

Why this matters for women

For teen girls, young women, and female athletes navigating anxiety, self-esteem struggles, depression, sports pressure, and perfectionism this phrase can be especially meaningful.

Like I mentioned above, many girls and women learn early to push through feelings especially in competitive environments like academics, athletics, and social spaces where performance matters. When anxiety is ignored, it disrupts our balance. Without balance, emotional overwhelm can quietly but quickly, grow.

In therapy, we often see that these emotions are not signs of weakness, but signals. Signals that something inside needs care, attention, or rest.

For female athletes this can show up as playing through emotional pain, tying worth to performance, struggling with confidence after mistakes, or feeling pressure to be perfect on and off the field. When emotions are resisted they often persist in the form of burnout, loss of joy, anxiety, or disconnection from the body.

Learning to name emotions, allowing yourself to safely sit with them, and responding with compassion, is a key part of mental health support for teen girls, young women, and athletes. This skill supports emotional regulation, confidence, resilience, and long term wellbeing.

If you are navigating anything I have mentioned, you are not broken. You are human, and learning to stop resisting your emotions may be the very thing that helps them loosen their grip.